Just for Fun

I have actually kind of planned out my next post, but it's one of those things I don't want to publish before I have the chance to look over it again. I've actually been putting some thought into it. However, this post is about a couple things that just make me smile.

The first is a video I give my niece's boyfriend due credit for showing me. It makes me laugh.



I am a big Lord of the Rings nerd. I really am. I also love this song from Mulan - have a lot of good memories with it; so this was pretty much perfect for me and a few of my close friends.

Next, I have found a new Japanese drama I like, Don Quixote. It's got a fun and interesting story line and good actors. It's quite charming. I think Shota Matsuda (the main actor) is perfect in this role, Katsumi Takahashi (the other lead role) is too. They form a good pair.

Finally, I randomly discovered a new "Doo Wop"-esque band randomly on Youtube, The Overtones. I haven't really talked about it much but I really love old school pop. And I don't mean "old school" like the 90s, I mean the 40's, 50's and early 60's with swing music, jazz, rhythm and blues and the beginning of rock and roll. I mean Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Elvis, The Andrew Sisters, The Temptations, The Penguins and The Shirrelles - things of that nature.

I don't know what it is about that old music but I have always liked it. The structure of the music, the harmonies, the purity of it all I guess. I know, I have a very wide, and somewhat odd, range of music I like but it's true. My friend posted a video of "For the Longest Time" by Billy Joel and while watching it, I happened upon The Overtones cover. They are apparently gaining popularity in Britain and all of their songs are in more of a simple doo-wop style with 5-part harmonies. It makes me giddy; I dig it.

Their original songs aren't bad either. I like their style, it's very much old school with a bit of a modern vocal sound (Timmy, the lead vocalist, has a definite more current pop sound to his voice but I like it ... and I like that he's Irish).



It just makes me smile.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

The Little Things

Being in a new country has meant many big changes. A new job, picking up more of a new language, living alone for the first time, being away from family, friends and church for more than two weeks; these are just a few of the major changes I've been adjusting to. So far, I think I'm doing well with that, but there are times when the big just seems so big, so different.

I'm a week into Natsu Yasumi (summer vacation) and some of the big things were getting me down with no work to distract me and having to save money along with that. But then the little things started popping up.

A friend sent me some new music (including the new Hillsong United cd which gave me a bit of a spiritual recharge), I received a package that included my favorite cereal from my family, I was able to text a new friend for translation help and she came through, I cooked some food with a Japanese twist I'd picked up eating school lunches, and, today, I went to an elementary school volleyball tournament.

About a month before the end of term volleyball practice began at Yasuzuka Shogakko (Elementary School), the school I taught at every Tuesday. I asked to watch one day and the coach invited me on the court to help and play. After that they said I could go to practice every Tuesday and so I did. The team is small (only 7 memebers, 6 of whom are 6th graders and one 3rd grader) but they work hard and I've been really impressed with them. I've also been impressed with their families. The parents show up and help out at practices and really support their girls.

Although the 1st term has ended the coaches told me about the tournament and so I exchanged a few texts (in Japanese, hence the need for translation help) with "Momo's Mama" and went to the tournament. The parents and the girls were so sweet! They seemed happy that I was there and tried to chat with me during breaks. When there was a break for lunch, the girls talked to me and we worked on my Japanese and their English (well, a little), then Nozomi gave me a One Piece cell phone charm.

It was a small thing and she had a couple extras from a trip to Round One in Utsunomiya, but because I like One Piece she gave it to me. That small gesture made my day. It reminded me why I'm enjoying my time here and made getting up early and finding my way to Kanuma completely worth it.

Hawkeye Mihawk fits nicely with my Ace screen cover. 

It is completely corny but it really is the little things that make the days good.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

"I'm an Odd Soul"

I am so much more excited than I though I would be for MUTEMATH's newest release "Odd Soul"! These guys ... I love them. They are always so refreshing and I seriously adore Paul Meany's voice! I really do.

I was surprised when I first heard this track as it is quite a change from their normal sound (which I also love) but it's still very much MUTEMATH, especially when it comes to the lyrics. I am definitely looking forward to hearing a more bluesy sound coming from them and am hoping they may also add a little more jazz (as they gave us a bit on their last album "Armistice").

It's definitely different, but I dig it the more I listen to it.

Something else that is very cool is that if you click http://mutemath.com/oddsoul/ you can remix the song! The band has broken the video and the tracks into 6 pieces (drums, bass, guitar, vocal, synth and background vocals) so you can play with it both musically and visually! I think that' pretty awesome.

Here's the vocal visual stem to give you an idea of what I mean ... and because it shows off Paul Meany's fantastic voice which, like I said, I adore.



Enjoy!

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Time is Flying

I guess the old "time flies when you're having fun" adage is quite true. I am having a blast in Japan and now I only have 2 teaching days left until 1st term is over.

These first 4 months have given me a lot to think about over natsuyasumi (summer vacation). I feel like I was just fitting into the elementary schools and now I'll be moving to a junior high 4 days a week with a new elementary school on Tuesdays for 2nd term (I'll go back to the elementary schools in January for 3rd term). I like what I'm doing, a lot, and I'm starting to think one year isn't long enough. If I continue to make friends and enjoy my work I may try to stay another year.

How could I not love a place this beautiful?

There are still so, so many gaps to be filled. I need to improve my Japanese, I want to try more things, I want to explore the country more and I don't want to have any regrets about things I could have done while here.

Still, I really do miss my family and friends. Sometimes, Facebook gives me a much needed lift and makes me happy but it also reminds me that the people I miss are doing completely different and fun things without me. I'm doing different and fun things without them too but it does make me miss them.

There's still plenty of time but I'm going to do my best to make the most of this year and if, in the end, I decide to stay longer than it will happen when it happens. If I decide to go home ... or try out Korea ... then that will happen when it happens too.

The first term has flown by but there's still more to come!

Kanuma City outside my new friend's family's restaurant.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Drama, drama, drama

I love these Tommy Lee Jones commercials for Boss coffee. They crack me up. Apparently the campaign started in, like, 2007 but I didn't know about it until I arrived. It's just one of the things I'm enjoying in here on TV.

I'm a little in love with Asuko March at the moment. I watch it on Sunday nights then wait for the net subtitles to come out. I've been surprised at how much I catch but the details and "why" is what I often miss ... that and Nao's speeches. I can never catch all of what she says. Still, I enjoy it.

I don't always dig the heroines in a lot of the "male harem"-style manga/anime (Asuko March is based off a manga that I, sadly, cannot find in English) - they are often annoying and wimpy, but I like Nao Yoshino. She's no Amu from "Shugo Chara" or Haruhi from "Oraun High School Host Club" but she's not too bad. I think that's in large part to Emi Takei, the lead actress. She has a very likable presence and can really be adorable. She pulls off some of Nao's more annoying behaviors without coming across that way, at least in my opinion.

I've really gotten into it now that the story's moving along. I'm really rooting for Tamaki-kun! I think the drama really favors Aruto but Tamaki-kun's just such a sweetie! Aruto, played by Tori Matsuzaka, is definitely cute and normally I pull for the cute guy but Tamaki-kun, played by Kento Kaku, is so adorable! He's too sweet, a good guy and I'm a sucker for someone that dedicated to their family. I don't normally root for someone so much but Tamaki-kun has captured my heart and I want him to capture Nao's.

The other drama I watch, Rebound, just ended. I watched it because I like Hayami Mokomichi (he's an "ikeman"!), and I ended up liking the series too. It had a good ending. Aibu Saki is adorable too.

That's all I really watch though. Now that Rebound is over I don't know what I'll do. I'm not really a "drama"  kind of person but I was pleasantly surprised with these two.

I think I've nerded out enough for now, though, anyways. I think I'll post more music next time ... or maybe a little bit of a "thinking" post before it.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

A Little Bit of Music Never Hurt Anyone ... Or Did It?

As I am growing more accustomed to life and culture in Japan, I think it's important for me to learn more about Japanese music. Well, at least current music ...

Before coming to Japan I'd had little bit of experience with some Japanese rock. I really like The Pillows (who just came out with a new album!) and Polysics, and everything I've heard from Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra I've enjoyed as well. I had also heard a few songs from Ore Ska Band, PuffyAmiUmi, Asian Kung Fu Generation, Dir En Grey, Minmi and Utada Hikaru due to anime and such but I'd never really gotten too big into it. I liked it but I was surrounded by other music and I liked that too.

I'm making more of an effort to pay attention to the music scene here but it is difficult with language barriers and not knowing too many people. I am also having problems with hearing songs I like but not being able to get the artist because I can't read or I missed their names. However, I've come to find a few bands/artist I'm interested in.

I'm finding that I like some Japanese pop and bit more than American pop - though that could be because I don't understand the words. Korean pop seems big here and it's not too bad either. I'm not sure why but I seem to like more of it here than back home. I'm not exactly running out to get it but I don't mind it so much.

Anyways, I've decided to post some songs I like so far. I'll admit I haven't done enough "research" to say that I fully dig all of the artists but I do like these songs by them at least.



I'm finding a lot of Japanese bands use English ... but not correctly. I like that The Bawdies songs make sense. I looked up a bit of their music and dig the lead singer's voice. AI is an r&b artist and I dig her voice too ... but not so much some of her other songs.



UVERworld I discovered while watching a fairly anime called "Ao no Exorcist" (The Blue Exorcist). I won't go into details but I dig the anime and this song (I have seen the translated lyrics too and it rocks).



This was actually not the first song I heard from Kanjani8 - I just like "The Beatles"-ish feel of the video. I first heard My Home (which I may like more) then saw them during promotion for the latest "Shin Chan" movie with their song TWL. They're a pop/rock band I guess but I think they're fun.



I haven't done too much looking into Kana Nishino but I like this song; it reminds me of the song I like by Minmi called "Shiki no Uta".



This is a song from the Korean pop group Girl's Generation. It's not my typical style but I like it. Also, the proceeds from this song (their first original Japanese song - the others were translated from Korean) and the other with it on the single (don't ask me the name) are all going to Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami relief.




This one is my favorite of the videos. Wait through the message in Japanese, it's worth it. I only saw this video on TV a couple days ago so I haven't looked into MinxZone too much yet but I dig it.

That's all for now. Honestly there are a few more I could put up but I think I'll save that for another day.

Music has always been a big part of me and in order for me to feel more connected to things here I feel it's necessary to explore more Japanese music, even if I don't understand the words. If anyone has suggestions feel free to send them my way because I'm definitely interested. I plan on attending a live show or two while I'm here, well, at least I hope to.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

"Though I know I'll Never Lose Affection For People and Things That Went Before"

So today is my best friend's birthday. Happy Birthday Kristin! Ha, you are now 24 and old like me!

Today is my best friend's birthday, Friday is my nephew's birthday ... I've already missed one of my niece's birthdays, my mom's, dad's and cousin Darnell's birthdays. These are all people I am close to. I hate not being near to celebrate or not being able to send gifts yet. Today, it bummed me out.

I wanted to talk to them, to see them, to give them a present and eat some ice cream or cake or ice cream cake but I can't. I've yet to make any real friends here as well. I was told that part would be difficult but when I stop to think about it, I miss already having friends close by. 

I really like my job. I like the kids, I enjoy the classes, I think the teacher's are very nice and helpful. I come home everyday tired but in a good mood. But sometimes, when I see that barrier of not only language but the one from not being at one school all the time and being familiar with your co-workers, I feel isolated.

I've taken 2 Intercultural Communications classes so I know mentally what I'll be going through, but really feeling isolated and really missing home is different. It's hard to be somewhere new when you love where you came from. 

But still, I feel like I'm supposed to be here and the good is outweighing the bad. It's challenging and some days I feel very alone, but during the course of the day I often get a "pick-me-up" from my kids. I get a "Crys-sensei! Asobimashoo (Play with us)!" or a little group yelling "Hi Crys-sensei!" from down the hall or have a particularly fun class and I can't help but feel blessed for this experience. 

The lonliness does come and go and I know it will continue to as I have only been here a couple of months. I don't think that's a bad thing though. I'm lucky to have people I love and miss so much. People who supported me and send me e-mails and Facebook messages or stay up until 1:15am to talk to me via Skype.

The title line is from "In My Life" by The Beatles. It doesn't totally go with what I'm saying but I love the song. So here it is:

 'Nuff Said,
Crysania

There's Still a Long Way to Go

Being in Japan for nearly two months has taught me many things. Things like living on your own does not change your clumsiness, grocery shopping is difficult when you can't exactly tell what your buying, and knowing how to cook and wanting to cook are two totally different things.

But, recently, the biggest thing I've learned is that, in some ways I'm not a grown up at all. I'm not talking about the "kid" in me that makes it easy to relate to elementary school kids or the fact that I like that I get to watch One Piece and Detective Conan on TV. I mean the I don't have the experience that makes me a good "adult".

I chose this picture because it has Ace and Zoro in it and they were my favorite characters when I started watching. I moved to Japan to find out my favorite, Ace, just died ... SAD DAY! I don't know if I wanna catch up to where they are now ... on the plus side though Ace is more popular in Japan and "One Piece" is still huge here and I can actually find Ace goodies! It was difficult in America. If Zoro dies, I may give up on anime, my favorite characters have that habit.

I don't think I've spent my money all that wisely, I get nervous easily and there have been times when I should've spoken up but didn't when it came to taking control of situations. There are many things I've never had to handle on my own before and handling them for the first time while adding language barriers has made me realized I was sheltered and more unreliable then I had thought.

Despite knowing how to do things on my own, I've relied on my family for a lot of help all my life. If I was low on cash I knew I could count on them for gas money or go places with friends. When I was down or lonely I could call someone and change my mood. I've relied on others more than I'd like to admit.

I'm changing but there's a long way to go. I realize that I'm a bit naive and don't have the best self-control; even now I've relied on my parents to help by sending things, but I'm doing my best to do things myself and rely on God more than others.

I don't know where I'm headed yet as a person but I know that, right now, I'm heading in the right direction.

In other news, I was informed the quote I posted last time was not 100% MLK so I've taken out the line that was under debate. Still, I think a challenge to not even celebrate the death of an enemy is a good one.

That's all for now.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

I Guess I'm Just Weird ...

So after I got home yesterday my allergies were bugging me. I put a hot towel over my eyes (see doctor? I listen sometimes) ... and fell asleep. Roughly 45 minutes later I woke and turned on the news - there was a special on Ryo Ishikawa visiting some camps people are still living in after the earthquake and tusnami up north. I logged on to Facebook and discovered Osama bin Ladin had been killed. "And?"

I didn't rejoice. I didn't fist-pump or jump out of my chair (like I did when I watched Andre Ethier move his hit-streak to 26); I just sat there and scrolled through the hundreds of posts I'd missed throughout the day. And ... I'm quite disappointed, even annoyed, with more than a few of them.

Maybe I'm just weird ... maybe I'm a California hippie (though, really, I'm not), maybe I'm an un-American, non-patriotic, wimp. I don't know. What I do know is the reactions of my "social circle" and of other Christians surprised me.

Around 2 weeks before I turned 20 my brother was killed in Iraq ... not Afghanistan or Pakistan. My brother and the thousands of other people there were not looking for Osama bin Ladin, in fact, they weren't even looking for Sadam Hussein anymore. And I can honestly say that when I found out it was a remote IED that some bastard had pulled the trigger on ... I hated that man.

I mean, really hated him. As far as I was concerned a coward hid and watched a convoy of trucks then randomly decided the one my brother was in was the one he'd hit the button on. I hated that man. I had never in my life wanted one person to die, to suffer so much.

And that was wrong. I hope I never hate like that again.

Not only does the Bible teach us to love out enemies, bless them that curse us and pray for those who mistreat us (Luke 6:27-28), but when I found out that man had been captured ... I didn't feel any better. My brother was still dead and there were still people losing soldiers daily. I had been selfish and childish; I had let a horrible, disgusting hate rest in my soul. I tried to tell myself that I felt justified, but I just felt wrong.

I still don't understand, really, why my brother was in Iraq but I want to believe there was a real purpose behind it. I do know he wasn't looking for Osama bin Ladin.

I don't think Osama bin Ladin was a good person. He hid and sent others to go out and kill for his hatred and he plotted a horrible act against America on 9/11/01. I remember it. I was getting out of the shower when the first plane hit and no one knew why yet ... I remember the fear and the pain of watching those people. I remember the aftermath. But killing Osama bin Ladin doesn't seem to do much but satisfy our childish, selfish thinking that we deserve this retaliation. That perpetuating hate and celebrating in the streets over some asshole's death is a good thing.

I don't get it.

Osama bin Ladin is dead ... but it didn't bring back my brother. It didn't bring back the Twin Towers, and it hasn't put an end to Al Queda.

Maybe I'm disconnected. Maybe I'm confused. Maybe I should hang an American flag and my brother's plaid shirt outside my window and play the national anthem. Again, I don't know. But I don't think many of the things I've read on Facebook are right.

I believe my God is a just God. I believe there is justice and that it will come to us all, but I don't think we need to celebrate that and say some truly stupid crap on the internet. I do love my country, being in another has made me realize how much I love the variety of California and America but the death of one man, no matter how bad, is just the death of one man.

If I'm wrong tell me, but be nice ... because I really don't get it.

I do like this quote someone posted on their Facebook though:

"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"
— Martin Luther King Jr.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Oh dear ...

It seems in my move to Japan I have neglected my blog! ... My bad.

Moving to a new country is a little exhausting, but I'm enjoying it.

I'm waiting on something to come through before I post much more but this month has been ... an adventure. I've already had many ups and downs ... and I really need to study more Japanese!

It's fun though. I'm enjoying what I do and liking where I am. I miss having friends with me though. I should've packed a few of them in my suitcase.

I know it's short but that's all for now. It's almost 1 pm and I've yet to do much other than send a few e-mails and watch the Dodger game. Go Andre Ethier! He's got a sexy 26-game hitting streak going on! And Matt Kemp has been red hot too. Love it.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

I Want to Say Something Profound ... But I'm not that Cool

I booked my flight to Japan. I leave Saturday at 11:05 out of LAX. I'll arrive in Tokyo at 3:o5 pm Sunday and go to Mito for my training. Two days later, I'll be in Mibu.

I'm really going to Japan. Alone. For a year.

I should be better prepared, I've never done anything like this before, I'm going to miss my friends and family a ton ... but I'm really doing it. And that's kind of cool.

Nervous, terrified excitement is how I would describe this feeling. Whoa, also works.

Adios California or should I say Jaa Ne!

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

An Offer I Can't Refuse?

I thought I would need to wait a few more weeks before getting an offer from the company I contracted with for a job at school. I was offered a job in Mibu, Japan which starts April 8. I would need to be in Mito, Japan for training on the 4th.

I must make my decision today. I've had the weekend to think about it.

I wish I were Superman. Superman always makes the right choice. It's what I love most about Superman. I wish I could have complete confidence in my decision-making. I tend to self-sabotage a bit.

I've prayed about it. I don't feel uneasy, more nervously excited. I think I'm talking myself out of it more than anything from fear of change. But I want to do this. I hope I have enough time to prepare.

Only God knows what will happen at this moment.

In other news, I am stoked to go to my first (and probably only) Dodger game Friday night with Kristin and Ben!! Cannot wait to see my boys in their second game of the season!

Andre is sexy.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I was going to post a semi-serious blog until I found this picture.

I love Guinness ... and the only way that could be better is if it were Obi-Won Kenobi. I love Obi-Wan.

I'm part Irish and I love it. Ireland has such an awesome, crazy history and is so beautiful. I really want to go there someday.

That's all I really wanted to say. I've been starting to worry about going to Japan with all the danger increasing and have been drowning my sorrows playing Dragon Age 2 (which I am having some issues with, of course) but tonight I shall drown them in a Guinness or two ... or three.

I had trouble picking which Flogging Molly song to leave with so I'm posting two of them.



Oh and if you're interested in a quick but very nice blog about St. Patrick, I really like Donald Miller's St. Patrick post. Check it out.



Of all the Irish music I could've chosen I don't know why I chose Flogging Molly. I was just in the mood for it.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Limbo

It's hard to fathom the tragedy that struck Japan last Thursday night (Friday morning there). An 8.9 earthquake, tsunami, aftershocks and now nuclear reactor partial meltdowns have really taken their toll on the country. I can't imagine how scary that would be. It's sad and my prayers are with the people there.

After the initial shock of everything that happened people began asking what I was going to do. I'm not sure why but it hadn't occurred to me to not go. I just told people I would wait for a reply from the company that contracted me and see how it goes from there.

Yesterday I found out that my trip will be postponed but I'm not sure how long. It makes sense that it would be with the danger right now. But until then I just need to wait.

I finally began thinking about what else I would do ... and I have no idea. I don't want to be where I am anymore. I'm ready to move on but I'm not sure where else I would go or what else I would do at all. I kind of hinged everything on this and I'm stuck in limbo. It's nerve-racking. I'm scared of going but even more scared of not going, of never doing or becoming anything.

This has affected my sleeping pattern the last couple of nights. I'm having a lot of trouble getting to and then staying asleep ... but today I listened to to MUTEMATH's version of the song "40" by U2.

It's a nice reminder that God is the one who "set my feet upon a rock so that I may stand firm". I also love the lines they added to the second verse:
Your the reason for the song that overtakes my soul,
Your the reason for my cares I'm letting go 
And I will sing, sing a new song  




Just what I needed to hear.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

p.s. If you're interested click here to read all of Psalm 40

The Calm Before the Storm

Things have been so relaxed lately it's eerie.

Now that I've been contracted and sent in my documents I'm waiting for my Visa processing. I don't know my exact leave date yet which is a little bothersome but I can't do anything about my transcripts taking their time to get to Japan.

Also my TEFL course is just about over. I did the Final Project a little too last minute but it didn't really affect my grade that much - a B+ rather than A- isn't bad.

Work has also been eerie. I've told everyone I'm leaving but continuing my day-to-day activities, just seems like a little less to do than normal.

I told my church I would be leaving and the majority of friends and family. So now it's just a short wait.

I think my journey is slowly becoming more real though. I'm realizing I won't be here for birthdays, trips and hangouts. It's the little things I've been thinking about most - I've never been on my own for more than a couple of weeks - it's weird, especially since I'll be so completely on my own now. Still, right now it's kind of surreal.

Since I'm going to miss Dodger Season my dad's taking me to a Spring Training game! I'm excited for that ... I just hope Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp and James Loney are there. It'd be a bummer to drive down there and not get to see them. If I leave April 2nd I'll get to go to Opening Night on the 1st with Kristin and Ben. I hope that one works out.

I need to add too that I'm totally getting Dragon Age II.

I blogged here about Dragon Age: Origins and after playing the demo I'm ready for II. 

That's all for now really. I just thought this sort of calm in my life has been a little odd, and a little refreshing, after so much Chaos.

"Now We'll Both be Super Saiyans."

I haven't had a nerd post in a while and I am in a massive nerd-out mood so here we go.

You see, I was weirded out/excited to see Dragon Ball Z back on TV as Dragon Ball Z Kai on NickToons. I was weirded out because I thought FUNimation was edit crazy but that was nothing compared to the 2-episodes-into-1 editing Nickelodeon has done and excited because, well, it's DBZ.

I was 14 when I "discovered" anime. My uncle was involved in a "new" company called TokyoPop. He sent my grandma some Sailor Moon, Harlem Beat, Card Captor Sakura and miscellaneous one-shots. She saw the Sailor Moon and gave it to me. The bag sat in my room for about a month before I checked it out. I loved it. I asked for more and can proudly say I have all original 11 English Sailor Moon manga.

Around that time we got cable again and Cartoon Network had just launched Toonami. I watched Sailor Moon because I'd been reading it. After it Gundam Wing came on. I had no idea what was going on at first but about every 10 seconds something blew up and I dug it. I had zero interest in the show my brothers watched after Gundam, called Dragon Ball Z. Only geeks watched cartoons and I was pushing it with my athlete friends openly talking about 2.

The first episode of DBZ I watched was right after Vegeta is defeated and I was very much "WTF? Why is there a flying cat? This is stupid." I didn't watch again until they put it between Sailor Moon and Gundam Wing. I watched part of The Namek Saga and really started to like it. Then Trunks came in and I was sold.

                       

I'm not going to lie, this was only the second time I had ever wished a cartoon character could be a real person. He was a beast (I love Eric Vale's voice too)  ... and my second ever "cartoon crush".

Gambit from the '90s X-Men cartoon was my first cartoon crush. I was, like, 8.

Yep. Told you I was a nerd. If they were real, the world would be much cooler. I never took it too far (reading some things online from girls who really did love him got scary) but I could call it a crush.

In high school, my friends and family knew I loved Trunks. I got lots of Trunks stuff for Christmas my sophomore and junior years. But then DBZ was off the air and I refuse to accept Dragon  Ball GT (I don't normally get hardcore but ... sad day).

Anyways, I'm saying this because Trunks showed up in DBZ Kai and I watched it last night. They edited out most of his beast parts, sad day. But, this Christmas FYE had a huge sale. Knowing I had no Trunks on DVD (only VHS) my family got me The Trunks Saga and The History of Trunks movie. I felt like I was 14 again but loved it. After being disappointed by 2 of my favorite lines being cut I popped in my DVD and watched the first 4 episodes he is in.

I had forgotten how much joy DBZ brought me. I've never been a true Otaku status but I do enjoy it.

Lately, I've been too serious. It was nice to nerd-out for a bit.

Also the title of this blog is a line Trunks says. My brother, Ben, and I reminisced how it was in the teaser, and later all the previews, for DBZ on Toonami when we watched it last night.



Okay ... that's enough for now. But that's a pretty cool scene.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Trapped in a Glass Case of Emotion

I kind of feel like Will Ferrell in Anchorman lately. In a glass case of emotion.

I'm excited and scared. I'm happy but sad. I'm ready but I'm not.

Accepting the contract is one thing, and leaving is another. This is what I want and I've been thinking it's something God means to have happen in my life. I need to go out and grow up. I need more experience and want to throw myself into the unfamiliar ... but it's uncharted water. It's feels scarier than it is because it is new.

And there is a lot about home I will miss.

I will miss my family (most of whom live relatively close by) and my friends. I'm really going to miss my best friend Kristin. I have no idea what I'll do without her. I'm going to miss Dodger games and birthdays and going to a pub or brewery with my cousins. Now that I've made this decision it's all hitting me.

Why am I doing this? Is it really meant to be or just a confused desire? Am I really even good enough to teach these kids?

When I pray about it, I have a peace about my decision. That makes me think I should be okay ... but then things come up and I think "oh, I'm going to miss that," or "oh yeah, I won't be there", or "crap, what if they don't think I'm a good teacher".

I guess there's more to taking a giant leap out of your comfort zone than I was ready for. I mean, I knew it would be tough and different but I've never gone this far out of the zone before.

As I draw closer to my leave date I'm sure I'll continue fluctuating - I'm sure it will be that way up until I'm in Japan. It'll probably be that way until I get used to being there.

This is different for me. That's for sure.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Whoa

Yesterday I logged into my e-mail to find that I had been offered a contract to teach in Japan.

Today I accepted that contract.

Exactly.

I wasn't expecting this at all! I can't believe it. I'm excited.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

"It's Still Far From Over"

There is so much and yet so little to say.

I have been going through my TEFL classes and looking to schools to apply to. I contacted Job Placement Assistance and I must say Traci was awesome. She really helped me get an international resume and cover letter together. I had so much trouble writing a cover letter for people who may not speak much English. I wanted to be creative and witty like my CSUF Counseling Center Advisor said but you have to be very direct with these schools. It took me 3 tries to get it.

When I was doing that I had a really tough time. I felt useless, stupid and unmotivated in my course work and the possibility of finding a teaching job.

In the midst of my near depression 2 things happened. First, my adorable nephew craved my attention. He crawled on me and bugged me until I would let him on my lap then took my glass and did this:

 He said, "I Ania, I typing." Yes, he calls me Ania (aw-nya). I had talked to him about doing work so I could go far away so he pointed to the computer screen and says "I go here. I go far away" then happily pounded on my keyboard. After snapping the picture with my phone I grabbed him and squeezed him. I love that kid

Right after that I heard the song Stall Out by MUTEMATH. It's a song I think can be easy to listen to without paying attention to it  but I really heard the lyrics:

Racing on a fault line, Bracing for a landslide
Conscious of everything getting harder, As the race goes underwater

I keep stalling out
I just can't keep up
There's alarming doubt
Am I good enough?
But you keep coming around 
to convince me
It's still far from over

Hearing that made me feel so much better. "It's still far from over."

And now I realize that is true. I have my first interview to be an Assistant Language Teacher at a public school near Tokyo! I'm nervous, excited and encouraged. I know one interview may not equal a job but it's a start and now I just need to let God take control. Well, and, you know, be prepared.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Online Classes Pretty Much Suck

I am really struggling with motivation for my TEFL course lately. It's not that I don't want to go to Japan ... it's this online format. Oh my, it is awful.

I will be the first to admit I have awful study habits - I have relied on my brain and ability to comprehend material in class for ... most of my life and gotten away without having to make time to study. I can b.s. my way through tests and have previously been able to do homework at the last minute without much trouble getting decent grades. But, alas, in an online course this strategy does not work well.

I have a solid 86% right now but this past week not wanting to go online and write out lesson plans or do the reading has killed me. I don't think my last assignment was very good and frankly the feedback from my online instructor has been minimal so it's difficult to know where I need to improve. I'm frustrated and, typically, when I get frustrated I become apathetic. How do I make that not happen?

The problem with apathy here is that if I am apathetic and get a bad grade in the course I cannot go to Japan ... and I really want to teach in Japan. I've been flying through the process of getting everything ready for the application process this past week but it will all be useless if I cannot find the motivation to complete the course.

Rock meet hard place.

I hope I can find a way to get more excited about my class. I'll admit it'd be easier if I actually saw or really talked to any of my classmates. Human interaction tends to make attending class more bearable but that cannot be done in an online course. I need to find more ways to stay motivated

Whatever will I do?

I have no idea. But I most definitely need to do something.

'Nuff said,
Crysania

Time Won't Let Me Go

I've been thinking "I need to blog" then forgetting. Time is moving faster than I'm ready for at the moment. I feel like the day drags on and on, then suddenly it's been a week.

I've started my TEFL classes and am doing well so far. I wasn't worried about the course work as much as paying on time and finding a way to get the student teaching done. Somehow it all has worked out. It's really amazing the way God puts things together. Just when I was getting to major "Oh crap, I'm going to have to change my work schedule and take less hours ... which means less money for leaving ... blah, blah" I got a call from the lady I used to tutor for saying her niece was in town from Korea for 2 months and if I could tutor. So I get the perfect opportunity to get me ESL Teaching done!

Lots has been going on in other venues as well. Last Sunday was Youth Sunday and our college group "took over" the church. We did everything from ushering and music to me delivering the message. I must admit ... it was scary. I can sing in front of people without issue but speaking to them is something else ... then I said "crap" on the pulpit. I didn't even realize it but apparently a few people got a kick out of it. I was surprised by the amount of positive feedback I got from people at the church ... whether they really felt that way or were just being nice is another story but I would hope they managed to get something out of it. I can assure you many of them never Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Wonder Twins analogies in a single sermon before. At least I can say I accomplished that.

So things are busy ... though I'm still managing time to play The Sims 3. I've never liked Sims games but I'm having fun with this one. Weird how simply putting a game on a console opens it up for my desire to play but whatever. It's not my normal cup of tea but I'm enjoying it all the same.

Finally, I thought The Green Hornet was adorable. I loved that movie. It was a good action comedy with emphasis on the comedy. I think the only way not to enjoy was to take it too seriously. Oh I also really enjoyed all the Bruce Lee throwbacks (one. inch. punch)! Because I'm not old enough I never got to see The Green Hornet television show, really, but I'd seen lots of clips and stuff in Bruce Lee documentaries and such. I do love Bruce Lee.

So I will make more of an attempt to be on blog. I'd like to keep in the habit so I do it when I'm in Japan as well. I really can't wait to get there.

I know the song doesn't exactly go with my situation but I like it anyways.



'Nuff Said,
Crysania