Limbo

It's hard to fathom the tragedy that struck Japan last Thursday night (Friday morning there). An 8.9 earthquake, tsunami, aftershocks and now nuclear reactor partial meltdowns have really taken their toll on the country. I can't imagine how scary that would be. It's sad and my prayers are with the people there.

After the initial shock of everything that happened people began asking what I was going to do. I'm not sure why but it hadn't occurred to me to not go. I just told people I would wait for a reply from the company that contracted me and see how it goes from there.

Yesterday I found out that my trip will be postponed but I'm not sure how long. It makes sense that it would be with the danger right now. But until then I just need to wait.

I finally began thinking about what else I would do ... and I have no idea. I don't want to be where I am anymore. I'm ready to move on but I'm not sure where else I would go or what else I would do at all. I kind of hinged everything on this and I'm stuck in limbo. It's nerve-racking. I'm scared of going but even more scared of not going, of never doing or becoming anything.

This has affected my sleeping pattern the last couple of nights. I'm having a lot of trouble getting to and then staying asleep ... but today I listened to to MUTEMATH's version of the song "40" by U2.

It's a nice reminder that God is the one who "set my feet upon a rock so that I may stand firm". I also love the lines they added to the second verse:
Your the reason for the song that overtakes my soul,
Your the reason for my cares I'm letting go 
And I will sing, sing a new song  




Just what I needed to hear.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

p.s. If you're interested click here to read all of Psalm 40