I've been thinking "I need to blog" then forgetting. Time is moving faster than I'm ready for at the moment. I feel like the day drags on and on, then suddenly it's been a week.
I've started my TEFL classes and am doing well so far. I wasn't worried about the course work as much as paying on time and finding a way to get the student teaching done. Somehow it all has worked out. It's really amazing the way God puts things together. Just when I was getting to major "Oh crap, I'm going to have to change my work schedule and take less hours ... which means less money for leaving ... blah, blah" I got a call from the lady I used to tutor for saying her niece was in town from Korea for 2 months and if I could tutor. So I get the perfect opportunity to get me ESL Teaching done!
Lots has been going on in other venues as well. Last Sunday was Youth Sunday and our college group "took over" the church. We did everything from ushering and music to me delivering the message. I must admit ... it was scary. I can sing in front of people without issue but speaking to them is something else ... then I said "crap" on the pulpit. I didn't even realize it but apparently a few people got a kick out of it. I was surprised by the amount of positive feedback I got from people at the church ... whether they really felt that way or were just being nice is another story but I would hope they managed to get something out of it. I can assure you many of them never Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Wonder Twins analogies in a single sermon before. At least I can say I accomplished that.
So things are busy ... though I'm still managing time to play The Sims 3. I've never liked Sims games but I'm having fun with this one. Weird how simply putting a game on a console opens it up for my desire to play but whatever. It's not my normal cup of tea but I'm enjoying it all the same.
Finally, I thought The Green Hornet was adorable. I loved that movie. It was a good action comedy with emphasis on the comedy. I think the only way not to enjoy was to take it too seriously. Oh I also really enjoyed all the Bruce Lee throwbacks (one. inch. punch)! Because I'm not old enough I never got to see The Green Hornet television show, really, but I'd seen lots of clips and stuff in Bruce Lee documentaries and such. I do love Bruce Lee.
So I will make more of an attempt to be on blog. I'd like to keep in the habit so I do it when I'm in Japan as well. I really can't wait to get there.
I know the song doesn't exactly go with my situation but I like it anyways.
'Nuff Said,
Crysania
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I want to run, I want to hide, I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside
This is so cool:
I love Muse and I love U2 and I love this song! So it's good all around. Never thought I'd see Muse do a cover of U2 ... I'm sad I didn't actually see it live.
Anyways, I've had to avoid posting the last few days. I got really worked up over something that happened in church on the 4th of July and had to actually walk out. I really dislike people bringing politics into church. Let's say we'll pray for the leaders and leave it at that ... taking the opportunity of "having pride in your country" to bring up what you think is wrong with it ... not cool.
Sometimes I listen to people and think "My brother died for this shit?" Especially on a day like the 4th all about our country and soldiers and stuff. I don't know ... maybe I'm too sensitive.
When my brother first died I was surprised at how little anger I felt about these things. I was pretty numb to all of it for a long time and easily ignored it, but lately that hasn't been the case at all. I get really angry when people drag politics into the church or go out bashing policies and things they know nothing about under the guise of "supporting" our troops.
So yeah ... as you can see I still am a little miffed. There was no way I could make a rational post after that happened. I almost left the service all together. It ended up being good I didn't but that still bugs me.
Speaking of my brother, he was always in to Eminem. I got a copy of his new Recovery album and am really enjoying it. Slim Shady has always been great, but this cd is so refreshing! Just straight up talent without any stupid auto tune and crap. I know my brother would like it too. We listened to a lot of Eminem in his car.
The cd is worth checking out. It's basically good all the way through. I'm not going to claim to be an expert in rap music, but I don't flat out hate the genre and I like what I like. It's good.
That's all for now.
'Nuff said,
Crysania
p.s. In case you didn't know, the title is a line from Where the Streets Have No Name
I love Muse and I love U2 and I love this song! So it's good all around. Never thought I'd see Muse do a cover of U2 ... I'm sad I didn't actually see it live.
Anyways, I've had to avoid posting the last few days. I got really worked up over something that happened in church on the 4th of July and had to actually walk out. I really dislike people bringing politics into church. Let's say we'll pray for the leaders and leave it at that ... taking the opportunity of "having pride in your country" to bring up what you think is wrong with it ... not cool.
Sometimes I listen to people and think "My brother died for this shit?" Especially on a day like the 4th all about our country and soldiers and stuff. I don't know ... maybe I'm too sensitive.
When my brother first died I was surprised at how little anger I felt about these things. I was pretty numb to all of it for a long time and easily ignored it, but lately that hasn't been the case at all. I get really angry when people drag politics into the church or go out bashing policies and things they know nothing about under the guise of "supporting" our troops.
So yeah ... as you can see I still am a little miffed. There was no way I could make a rational post after that happened. I almost left the service all together. It ended up being good I didn't but that still bugs me.
Speaking of my brother, he was always in to Eminem. I got a copy of his new Recovery album and am really enjoying it. Slim Shady has always been great, but this cd is so refreshing! Just straight up talent without any stupid auto tune and crap. I know my brother would like it too. We listened to a lot of Eminem in his car.
The cd is worth checking out. It's basically good all the way through. I'm not going to claim to be an expert in rap music, but I don't flat out hate the genre and I like what I like. It's good.
That's all for now.
'Nuff said,
Crysania
p.s. In case you didn't know, the title is a line from Where the Streets Have No Name
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Scatter-brained Bunny
I haven't been sure about what to blog about lately ... there seems to be a lot yet not much. So this may be a bit of a scatter-brain blog. Writing down a few random things usually helps me cut through writer's block.
1. First off, the Daily Titan 50th Anniversary Banquet was okay. Not many people I knew showed up but I had a good time with Jess, Amy and Christee. We even got a little drama as they didn't ask any of the staffers (myself, Jess and Amy included) who worked on the Nick Adenhart extra to speak. Jess was an awesome Exec Editor. We're not even her staff anymore and she fought to get us recognition. The whole things made me miss writing and editing again. I loved my time at the DT and the Sports section was just a lot of fun. Michal join Amy, Christee and I afterwards in Downtown Fullerton. That was cool too. It was good to see Michal. He helped me and taught me a lot so I've always thought of him as ... hmm ... like a mentor or something.
2. Christee and I got to talking at Heroes and I think I might want to teach English. I've never minded kids and teaching has been in the back of my mind before but I always pushed to be a writer. Truth is, I enjoyed being a tutor and I really am a grammar nerd. I like school and I like learning too. So I'm really considering going back to school to get my masters and credential. I can always freelance write too so I don't really have to give anything up. I've learned I'm not big on office jobs, I need more variety to stay happy. That's one thing the newspaper offered. It was routine in that we had to go in every day and do work, but something new and different happened every day. Teaching offers that variety too, I think. I still need to think this through though.
3. I went to my first Dodger game of the season last Thursday! They lost but I liked our seats and the game was fun. Plus, they won three straight right after so I can't be upset. Actually, in May I'll be going to three Dodger games! Holy crap! The college group at my church is going this Friday, I'm going on the 18th for Andre Ethier Bobblehead night and I'm going to see them on the 28th in Denver. I'm flying out there and taking my niece for her graduation present. It's a Go Blue kind of month I guess.
4. I've been really up and down spiritually lately. Just can't seem to feel settled or relaxed ... or calm. I put too much pressure on myself sometimes and it affects my relationship with God. I'd like to find a way to fix that. It doesn't help that I don't like to talk to people about it though. Sunday, we talked about accepting our weaknesses and realizing everyone is broken, but I struggle with that. I'm the type to hide my weaknesses and keep everything inside. For a while, I was using my journal to talk to God but I've gotten away from that recently. I should find it and try that again.
5. I hate American Idol ... but I might love Lee DeWyze. I think I'll talk more about that tomorrow.
6. I'm going to visit my big brother tomorrow I think. If not I'll do it Thursday. Part of my turmoil has been missing him more lately. My brother was so strong and easy to rely on and I really miss that about him. Memorial Day is coming up soon too so it makes me think of him.
7. That felt refreshing!
'Nuff Said,
Crysania
1. First off, the Daily Titan 50th Anniversary Banquet was okay. Not many people I knew showed up but I had a good time with Jess, Amy and Christee. We even got a little drama as they didn't ask any of the staffers (myself, Jess and Amy included) who worked on the Nick Adenhart extra to speak. Jess was an awesome Exec Editor. We're not even her staff anymore and she fought to get us recognition. The whole things made me miss writing and editing again. I loved my time at the DT and the Sports section was just a lot of fun. Michal join Amy, Christee and I afterwards in Downtown Fullerton. That was cool too. It was good to see Michal. He helped me and taught me a lot so I've always thought of him as ... hmm ... like a mentor or something.
2. Christee and I got to talking at Heroes and I think I might want to teach English. I've never minded kids and teaching has been in the back of my mind before but I always pushed to be a writer. Truth is, I enjoyed being a tutor and I really am a grammar nerd. I like school and I like learning too. So I'm really considering going back to school to get my masters and credential. I can always freelance write too so I don't really have to give anything up. I've learned I'm not big on office jobs, I need more variety to stay happy. That's one thing the newspaper offered. It was routine in that we had to go in every day and do work, but something new and different happened every day. Teaching offers that variety too, I think. I still need to think this through though.
3. I went to my first Dodger game of the season last Thursday! They lost but I liked our seats and the game was fun. Plus, they won three straight right after so I can't be upset. Actually, in May I'll be going to three Dodger games! Holy crap! The college group at my church is going this Friday, I'm going on the 18th for Andre Ethier Bobblehead night and I'm going to see them on the 28th in Denver. I'm flying out there and taking my niece for her graduation present. It's a Go Blue kind of month I guess.
4. I've been really up and down spiritually lately. Just can't seem to feel settled or relaxed ... or calm. I put too much pressure on myself sometimes and it affects my relationship with God. I'd like to find a way to fix that. It doesn't help that I don't like to talk to people about it though. Sunday, we talked about accepting our weaknesses and realizing everyone is broken, but I struggle with that. I'm the type to hide my weaknesses and keep everything inside. For a while, I was using my journal to talk to God but I've gotten away from that recently. I should find it and try that again.
5. I hate American Idol ... but I might love Lee DeWyze. I think I'll talk more about that tomorrow.
6. I'm going to visit my big brother tomorrow I think. If not I'll do it Thursday. Part of my turmoil has been missing him more lately. My brother was so strong and easy to rely on and I really miss that about him. Memorial Day is coming up soon too so it makes me think of him.
7. That felt refreshing!
'Nuff Said,
Crysania
Monday, March 29, 2010
Ch-ch-changes
I've always thought one of the constants in life is that things will change. Lately, I've been going through one of those periods of constant change, and so has my niece.
We've been sharing a room now for nearly six months - it's been quite an experience. When she first moved in I think she thought things were going to be similar to where she was before, but that didn't happen. It's not a good or a bad thing, we're just different.
First, everyone in my house, aside from my nearly 2-year-old nephew, is an adult. It had to be difficult going from a house where you're the older one to being the youngest. We had "privileges" she didn't simply because we are older. We'd already been through all the "restrictions" she now had.
Second, she had to go to school - a tiny private school. My niece was being home-schooled but she was behind on credits. Before that she was at the biggest high school in Victorville. My parents wanted her to go to public school but because she was behind they wouldn't take her. They put her in the school I went to in order to catch up. It was small (even smaller than when I attended) and she was one of the only people there who didn't profess to being a Christian. It started out as extremely difficult. She felt suffocated and that her efforts were never enough. I saw her get down knew she wasn't liking school, but all I could do was my best to encourage her. In my experience everything is what you make it and that was all I could tell her.
Third, she had to go to church. Whenever my parents go, she goes. From conversations we'd had it seemed like she was more against Christians than Christianity and, sadly, I could see where she would get that from. As Christians, we're sometimes the biggest reason people don't want to look at Christ - especially when we damn them for being different or, heaven-forbid, having a different opinion than we do.
Those were probably the three main challenges she faced, but as I was dealing with my own problems and as we shared a room, things began to shift. She became more open. I could tell she really wanted somewhere to belong. Her school is small and she needed more socialization. I started attending a college group at a big church and told her we were going through the book Unchristian and would be discussing homosexuality one week. She asked to go and hear what they though so I took her. That's when I first noticed her change.
I'm not sure her reasons for wanting to go, but I know the message and the people there touched her. She won a copy of the book and read it all the way through. She went again and asked to go to the high school group at that church.
Please don't think I forced her into anything. On Sundays when she didn't want to go to church I never made her. She asked so I took her. I never had any agenda other than hoping she'd meet interesting people. It was her open mind I saw at work. I was impressed.
I am not entirely sure how she feels about church or God right now. I know she attended church when she was young but things in her life changed her mind, and that's fine. It's her journey. But I see a girl who has more people to talk to in a new environment. And isn't that a job of the church? To allow people to come in and not worry about converting them, but show them love and get to know them. After that, they can decide if they like what they see and want to learn more.
I know I'm changing because of her. I look more carefully at what I do and try to be open to things she has to say. I make an effort not to force conversion or ask what she thinks about faith but just let her be herself. When you're taught to evangelize, it's difficult to remember showing God's love and looking for His patience and kindness in others is important too.
Now she has another challenge to face. Another thing I can't do for her. She has people who see this change and don't like it. People who dislike Christians who have been close-minded and put them down, but don't have an open-mind when it comes to Christianity. Yes, lots of Christians are close-minded and hypocritical and try to make you feel guilty, but that is not every Christian. Not being open-minded towards Christians is the pot calling the kettle black. I don't know how this will turn out, but I'm sure it'll change us both once again.
'Nuff said,
Crysania
p.s. How do you like my pretty new template? I played with the new editor for a while, but I don't know any HTML or anything so this is probably as good as it' gonna get.
We've been sharing a room now for nearly six months - it's been quite an experience. When she first moved in I think she thought things were going to be similar to where she was before, but that didn't happen. It's not a good or a bad thing, we're just different.
First, everyone in my house, aside from my nearly 2-year-old nephew, is an adult. It had to be difficult going from a house where you're the older one to being the youngest. We had "privileges" she didn't simply because we are older. We'd already been through all the "restrictions" she now had.
Second, she had to go to school - a tiny private school. My niece was being home-schooled but she was behind on credits. Before that she was at the biggest high school in Victorville. My parents wanted her to go to public school but because she was behind they wouldn't take her. They put her in the school I went to in order to catch up. It was small (even smaller than when I attended) and she was one of the only people there who didn't profess to being a Christian. It started out as extremely difficult. She felt suffocated and that her efforts were never enough. I saw her get down knew she wasn't liking school, but all I could do was my best to encourage her. In my experience everything is what you make it and that was all I could tell her.
Third, she had to go to church. Whenever my parents go, she goes. From conversations we'd had it seemed like she was more against Christians than Christianity and, sadly, I could see where she would get that from. As Christians, we're sometimes the biggest reason people don't want to look at Christ - especially when we damn them for being different or, heaven-forbid, having a different opinion than we do.
Those were probably the three main challenges she faced, but as I was dealing with my own problems and as we shared a room, things began to shift. She became more open. I could tell she really wanted somewhere to belong. Her school is small and she needed more socialization. I started attending a college group at a big church and told her we were going through the book Unchristian and would be discussing homosexuality one week. She asked to go and hear what they though so I took her. That's when I first noticed her change.
I'm not sure her reasons for wanting to go, but I know the message and the people there touched her. She won a copy of the book and read it all the way through. She went again and asked to go to the high school group at that church.
Please don't think I forced her into anything. On Sundays when she didn't want to go to church I never made her. She asked so I took her. I never had any agenda other than hoping she'd meet interesting people. It was her open mind I saw at work. I was impressed.
I am not entirely sure how she feels about church or God right now. I know she attended church when she was young but things in her life changed her mind, and that's fine. It's her journey. But I see a girl who has more people to talk to in a new environment. And isn't that a job of the church? To allow people to come in and not worry about converting them, but show them love and get to know them. After that, they can decide if they like what they see and want to learn more.
I know I'm changing because of her. I look more carefully at what I do and try to be open to things she has to say. I make an effort not to force conversion or ask what she thinks about faith but just let her be herself. When you're taught to evangelize, it's difficult to remember showing God's love and looking for His patience and kindness in others is important too.
Now she has another challenge to face. Another thing I can't do for her. She has people who see this change and don't like it. People who dislike Christians who have been close-minded and put them down, but don't have an open-mind when it comes to Christianity. Yes, lots of Christians are close-minded and hypocritical and try to make you feel guilty, but that is not every Christian. Not being open-minded towards Christians is the pot calling the kettle black. I don't know how this will turn out, but I'm sure it'll change us both once again.
'Nuff said,
Crysania
p.s. How do you like my pretty new template? I played with the new editor for a while, but I don't know any HTML or anything so this is probably as good as it' gonna get.
Friday, March 26, 2010
"I'm hungry for some unrest ..."
Life on the moon has been pretty crazy lately. I am exhausted.
I haven't been this wiped out in a while, but I'm kind of digging it. I missed being busy. I just wish I had some more cash to show for it. Apparently, I'm not in the system at my job in Orange so I haven't been paid yet, even though I'm just finishing my third week here.
Last weekend I got a bit more drunk than I'd planned because of it. I'm a fun drunk so it's okay, but I just needed to let go a little. If I didn't, I was afraid I'd actually go crazy. The result was a headache in church (never a good way to attend), but after I got hydrated and rested I was fine.
Our college group's first meeting went really well! We had twice as many people as we were expecting and every one seemed to enjoy it. I had to present the first lesson/discussion so that's another reason I was stressed, but it went over well. That's definitely only through God's help because I was crazy nervous.
Right after the success we had minor drama though, it was frustrating but it worked out. We're lucky too, because it had the potential to be really bad.
Still, all the work and stress is just making me more excited to go to Vegas and see Muse! The Title is a line from "Unnatural Selection". Good song.
Two of my friends saw them in Houston and told me how great the show was so the excitement keeps building! I can't wait for this trip!
That's all really. I was just trying to kill some time before work wrapped up. I finished all I could today and needed to stay longer.
'Nuff Said,
Crysania
I haven't been this wiped out in a while, but I'm kind of digging it. I missed being busy. I just wish I had some more cash to show for it. Apparently, I'm not in the system at my job in Orange so I haven't been paid yet, even though I'm just finishing my third week here.
Last weekend I got a bit more drunk than I'd planned because of it. I'm a fun drunk so it's okay, but I just needed to let go a little. If I didn't, I was afraid I'd actually go crazy. The result was a headache in church (never a good way to attend), but after I got hydrated and rested I was fine.
Our college group's first meeting went really well! We had twice as many people as we were expecting and every one seemed to enjoy it. I had to present the first lesson/discussion so that's another reason I was stressed, but it went over well. That's definitely only through God's help because I was crazy nervous.
Right after the success we had minor drama though, it was frustrating but it worked out. We're lucky too, because it had the potential to be really bad.
Still, all the work and stress is just making me more excited to go to Vegas and see Muse! The Title is a line from "Unnatural Selection". Good song.
Two of my friends saw them in Houston and told me how great the show was so the excitement keeps building! I can't wait for this trip!
That's all really. I was just trying to kill some time before work wrapped up. I finished all I could today and needed to stay longer.
'Nuff Said,
Crysania
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