I've always thought one of the constants in life is that things will change. Lately, I've been going through one of those periods of constant change, and so has my niece.
We've been sharing a room now for nearly six months - it's been quite an experience. When she first moved in I think she thought things were going to be similar to where she was before, but that didn't happen. It's not a good or a bad thing, we're just different.
First, everyone in my house, aside from my nearly 2-year-old nephew, is an adult. It had to be difficult going from a house where you're the older one to being the youngest. We had "privileges" she didn't simply because we are older. We'd already been through all the "restrictions" she now had.
Second, she had to go to school - a tiny private school. My niece was being home-schooled but she was behind on credits. Before that she was at the biggest high school in Victorville. My parents wanted her to go to public school but because she was behind they wouldn't take her. They put her in the school I went to in order to catch up. It was small (even smaller than when I attended) and she was one of the only people there who didn't profess to being a Christian. It started out as extremely difficult. She felt suffocated and that her efforts were never enough. I saw her get down knew she wasn't liking school, but all I could do was my best to encourage her. In my experience everything is what you make it and that was all I could tell her.
Third, she had to go to church. Whenever my parents go, she goes. From conversations we'd had it seemed like she was more against Christians than Christianity and, sadly, I could see where she would get that from. As Christians, we're sometimes the biggest reason people don't want to look at Christ - especially when we damn them for being different or, heaven-forbid, having a different opinion than we do.
Those were probably the three main challenges she faced, but as I was dealing with my own problems and as we shared a room, things began to shift. She became more open. I could tell she really wanted somewhere to belong. Her school is small and she needed more socialization. I started attending a college group at a big church and told her we were going through the book Unchristian and would be discussing homosexuality one week. She asked to go and hear what they though so I took her. That's when I first noticed her change.
I'm not sure her reasons for wanting to go, but I know the message and the people there touched her. She won a copy of the book and read it all the way through. She went again and asked to go to the high school group at that church.
Please don't think I forced her into anything. On Sundays when she didn't want to go to church I never made her. She asked so I took her. I never had any agenda other than hoping she'd meet interesting people. It was her open mind I saw at work. I was impressed.
I am not entirely sure how she feels about church or God right now. I know she attended church when she was young but things in her life changed her mind, and that's fine. It's her journey. But I see a girl who has more people to talk to in a new environment. And isn't that a job of the church? To allow people to come in and not worry about converting them, but show them love and get to know them. After that, they can decide if they like what they see and want to learn more.
I know I'm changing because of her. I look more carefully at what I do and try to be open to things she has to say. I make an effort not to force conversion or ask what she thinks about faith but just let her be herself. When you're taught to evangelize, it's difficult to remember showing God's love and looking for His patience and kindness in others is important too.
Now she has another challenge to face. Another thing I can't do for her. She has people who see this change and don't like it. People who dislike Christians who have been close-minded and put them down, but don't have an open-mind when it comes to Christianity. Yes, lots of Christians are close-minded and hypocritical and try to make you feel guilty, but that is not every Christian. Not being open-minded towards Christians is the pot calling the kettle black. I don't know how this will turn out, but I'm sure it'll change us both once again.
'Nuff said,
Crysania
p.s. How do you like my pretty new template? I played with the new editor for a while, but I don't know any HTML or anything so this is probably as good as it' gonna get.
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