Ch-ch-changes

I've always thought one of the constants in life is that things will change. Lately, I've been going through one of those periods of constant change, and so has my niece.

We've been sharing a room now for nearly six months - it's been quite an experience. When she first moved in I think she thought things were going to be similar to where she was before, but that didn't happen. It's not a good or a bad thing, we're just different.

First, everyone in my house, aside from my nearly 2-year-old nephew, is an adult. It had to be difficult going from a house where you're the older one to being the youngest. We had "privileges" she didn't simply because we are older. We'd already been through all the "restrictions" she now had.

Second, she had to go to school - a tiny private school. My niece was being home-schooled but she was behind on credits. Before that she was at the biggest high school in Victorville. My parents wanted her to  go to public school but because she was behind they wouldn't take her. They put her in the school I went to in order to catch up. It was small (even smaller than when I attended) and she was one of the only people there who didn't profess to being a Christian. It started out as extremely difficult. She felt suffocated and that her efforts were never enough. I saw her get down knew she wasn't liking school, but all I could do was my best to encourage her. In my experience everything is what you make it and that was all I could tell her.

Third, she had to go to church. Whenever my parents go, she goes. From conversations we'd had it seemed like she was more against Christians than Christianity and, sadly, I could see where she would get that from. As Christians, we're sometimes the biggest reason people don't want to look at Christ - especially when we damn them for being different or, heaven-forbid, having a different opinion than we do.

Those were probably the three main challenges she faced, but as I was dealing with my own problems and as we shared a room, things began to shift. She became more open. I could tell she really wanted somewhere to belong. Her school is small and she needed more socialization. I started attending a college group at a big church and told her we were going through the book Unchristian and would be discussing homosexuality one week. She asked to go and hear what they though so I took her. That's when I first noticed her change.

I'm not sure her reasons for wanting to go, but I know the message and the people there touched her. She won a copy of the book and read it all the way through. She went again and asked to go to the high school group at that church.

Please don't think I forced her into anything. On Sundays when she didn't want to go to church I never made her. She asked so I took her. I never had any agenda other than hoping she'd meet interesting people. It was her open mind I saw at work. I was impressed.


I am not entirely sure how she feels about church or God right now. I know she attended church when she was young but things in her life changed her mind, and that's fine. It's her journey. But I see a girl who has more people to talk to in a new environment. And isn't that a job of the church? To allow people to come in and not worry about converting them, but show them love and get to know them. After that, they can decide if they like what they see and want to learn more.


I know I'm changing because of her. I look more carefully at what I do and try to be open to things she has to say. I make an effort not to force conversion or ask what she thinks about faith but just let her be herself. When you're taught to evangelize, it's difficult to remember showing God's love and looking for His patience and kindness in others is important too.


Now she has another challenge to face. Another thing I can't do for her. She has people who see this change and don't like it. People who dislike Christians who have been close-minded and put them down, but don't have an open-mind when it comes to Christianity. Yes, lots of Christians are close-minded and hypocritical and try to make you feel guilty, but that is not every Christian. Not being open-minded towards Christians is the pot calling the kettle black. I don't know how this will turn out, but I'm sure it'll change us both once again.


'Nuff said,
Crysania


p.s. How do you like my pretty new template? I played with the new editor for a while, but I don't know any HTML or anything so this is probably as good as it' gonna get.

"I'm hungry for some unrest ..."

Life on the moon has been pretty crazy lately. I am exhausted.

I haven't been this wiped out in a while, but I'm kind of digging it. I missed being busy. I just wish I had some more cash to show for it. Apparently,  I'm not in the system at my job in Orange so I haven't been paid yet, even though I'm just finishing my third week here.

Last weekend I got a bit more drunk than I'd planned because of it. I'm a fun drunk so it's okay, but I just needed to let go a little. If I didn't, I was afraid I'd actually go crazy. The result was a headache in church (never a good way to attend), but after I got hydrated and rested I was fine.

Our college group's first meeting went really well! We had twice as many people as we were expecting and every one seemed to enjoy it. I had to present the first lesson/discussion so that's another reason I was stressed, but it went over well. That's definitely only through God's help because I was crazy nervous.

Right after the success we had minor drama though, it was frustrating but it worked out. We're lucky too, because it had the potential to be really bad.

Still, all the work and stress is just making me more excited to go to Vegas and see Muse! The Title is a line from "Unnatural Selection". Good song.

Two of my friends saw them in Houston and told me how great the show was so the excitement keeps building! I can't wait for this trip!

That's all really. I was just trying to kill some time before work wrapped up. I finished all I could today and needed to stay longer.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Tardiness is a No-no

I do not like to be late. Considering the fact that I am half Mexican and come from a Mexican family who typically runs on "Mexican time" it seems odd but it's true.

I'll admit I can be flexible about tardiness but only when it comes to two things: family events and church events. When we have a family event I do not stress about being late because I know no one will be there on time anyways. Church is pretty much the same thing - though not as big of a stretch. Family events I give 30 min. to an hour from the starting and don't make plans after because it goes until we decide to leave. For church I give10 - 15 minutes from start time and 30 minutes ending time. I realize this is just how it goes.

In everything else I get a little anal about being on time. I freak out when I'm running late.

I drive faster and more aggressively, I get irritable and I start to believe that the world hates me and is trying to keep me from getting to me destination on time.

The last part is a direct result of the first two ... but I swear it's true.

This morning Kristin picked me up 15 minutes late (we carpool Fridays and it was her turn to drive) but there was no traffic on the 57 so we were making really good time ... until we decided we wanted coffee. All of the sudden near the off-ramp we hit a bunch of traffic - for no reason. We got off an exit early, but it literally took at least 5 minutes at the first light. Then we hit every red light. I was getting seriously annoyed because Starbucks isn't exactly fast and I did not want to be late for work.

Lucky for me, Kristin gets less annoyed about punctuality and suggested we stop at McDonald's because it is typically faster. There was a long line at the drive-through so we went inside. It worked. We were in and out in about 5 minutes and made it to work on time.

Maybe I should work on being more like Kristin. I mean I keep my calm just fine the rest of the time and because of how much I freak out when I'm running late I usually end up there within 5 minutes of the time (sometimes early) but it would definitely be less stressful to look at things differently ... then again, it isn't that easy for me.

I think it is because of my family always running late that I get annoyed. I don't like waiting around and I really dislike making any one wait for me. I'll admit, however, it does get a bit ridiculous. It always ends up not being a big deal.

So I will work on that because I have enough stress in my life to be worrying so much about 5 minutes.

'Nuff said,
Crysania

Living on the Moon

So as you can see I changed my Blog Title from 'Nuff Said to Bunny on the Moon ... I'm not sure whether or not this will stick, but I'm hoping it is more original, at least. I can explain it.

When I was in high school I had lots of nicknames - lots. I have a long name so it makes sense, but I had a friend decide I was a lot like Sailor Moon my freshman year because I can be a really big airhead. I hate to admit it but it's true, although, most likely, very few people I know now realize this about me. I like to think I hide it pretty well, but the people who really know me know the truth. I went to a small high school and the name caught on.

I know many out there probably know this, but in the manga and in the original Japanese anime Sailor Moon's nickname is Bunny. I had a friend who knew this and started calling me Bunny, particularly online, so even though I had new nicknames by sophomore year that one still hung around.

Besides, I really do think sometimes I must be living on the moon. I definitely am inside my head enough to be somewhere else.

I've been pretty busy lately for a change and it's been nice, but that's all I have time for, for now

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Double Bummer with a Small Silver Lining

I read the full article today about Dodger catcher Russell Martin's "little" strain.

Honestly, I'd avoided reading it on Facebook because I didn't want to see how bad it was but I read it in the paper while on my break at work.

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-dodgers-fyi-20100308,0,4543673.story

It's a bummer, because I really do like Martin. He's a really hard working catcher and seems like a very likable person. Last year, he didn't have as much success at the plate and his defense suffered, but I think they are connected and the problem was mental. In the off-season, he put on some muscle and now he's injured. Sad day. I hope he waits it out so it doesn't get worse but it'll be sad if he has to miss the first game.

Also, I was trying to Google this blog and I discovered ... there are quite a few blogs entitled "Nuff Said".

I knew about the Marvel comic with the title only because of my super comic book nerd ex, but I didn't think there'd be that much. Double Bummer.

Thing is, I suck at titles. Writing headlines is one thing, but titles for my own stuff ... I suck at that. I only picked this title because that's how I sign letters and such (have done so since I was 14).

I also suck at screen names. I really have to think about another title.

On the bright side, I started my new job today! I was nostalgic driving on the 57 freeway. I miss going to CSUF sometimes. The job seems like it'll be cool beans. It's better than making smoothies and sandwiches at least and will help me learn more to progress and get back to writing and editing!

That's all I have to say.

'Nuff Said,

Crysania

Appreciating the Blessings

After at least 6 months of stress and frustration things look like they are starting to turn around ... and I can't help but thank God for this.

After graduating college I was mentally and physically exhausted. As fun as my last 2 years were, they were also lots of hard work. So I took a break. 6 weeks into my break I was itching to do more and had no luck finding anything. By the end of the summer, I was miserable.

I didn't have a job, I wasn't returning to school, I hadn't planned out life after college and I was just going through the motions at church. I attended nearly every Sunday but I didn't feel involved or that I mattered, and I didn't care to try. Apathy is something I often struggle with ... I become frustrated then apathetic and never actually fix the problem.

I tried turning things around, nothing worked. I was ready to give up and finally prayed. I prayed that I'd find something, anything to help. It took a little while but God answered. My sister got me a job at the smoothie shop next to the salon where she works.

It helped, but it wasn't enough - I needed more. Around that time, the college/young adult age began pushing for something in the church. I think the younger college students may have begun to feel as Kristin and I did - that Encounter wasn't for our age group - and felt out of place. I felt this was something I could get involved in; somewhere I could be of use to Christ ... but it wasn't coming together like we'd hoped.

Actually, one of the problems my family has been facing so far this year turned out to be my blessing in disguise. Because of it we attended a service where my brother's girlfriend's parents were giving their testimony. I liked the atmosphere so I went with Erik and Keri to the church service the next Sunday evening and enjoyed it. While there, I got a card for their college group.

I also hung out with a friend from church I hadn't hung out out with in a while and told him how much I wanted a college group to start. He passed that along to another friend, who approached me the Sunday after I'd gone to the CCV college group. I invited both of them to the CCV college service and it excited us. We decided to start the group ourselves. I talked to Kristin and she agreed. The four of us felt the same need in the church - the same need for ourselves.

After making the decision we met up and came up with specifics before meeting with our pastor and youth pastor. They approved and encouraged us.

I also got a better job which I start Monday!

I've come to realize one thing I'm not good at is keeping my daily relationship with Christ. I get easily caught up in my own head and think I need to do everything myself, but once I gave that up to Christ and was willing to listen to His will things started working out.

No, it's not perfect, and yes, I am still struggling with many other things but God used my recent stress and hard times to bring me closer to Him. And things are looking up.

I know I'm always talking about how music speaks to me but I believe my turning point was when I was in that small service before Keri's parents spoke and heard "The Desert Song".

This is my prayer in the desert

When all that's within me feels dry

This is my prayer in my hunger and need

My God is a God Who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness and trial and pain

There is a faith proved of more worth than gold

So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise, I will bring praise

No weapon formed against me shall remain

I will rejoice, I will declare

God is my victory and he is here

I was blown away by these lyrics at a time I felt lost and dry and helpless. I think God uses things that we relate too most to bring us to Him.

So things aren't set in stone and they're far from perfect, but I'm feeling better and more fulfilled than I have in quite a while.

I really need to work on shortening these posts.

'Nuff Said,

Crysania