Whoa

Yesterday I logged into my e-mail to find that I had been offered a contract to teach in Japan.

Today I accepted that contract.

Exactly.

I wasn't expecting this at all! I can't believe it. I'm excited.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

"It's Still Far From Over"

There is so much and yet so little to say.

I have been going through my TEFL classes and looking to schools to apply to. I contacted Job Placement Assistance and I must say Traci was awesome. She really helped me get an international resume and cover letter together. I had so much trouble writing a cover letter for people who may not speak much English. I wanted to be creative and witty like my CSUF Counseling Center Advisor said but you have to be very direct with these schools. It took me 3 tries to get it.

When I was doing that I had a really tough time. I felt useless, stupid and unmotivated in my course work and the possibility of finding a teaching job.

In the midst of my near depression 2 things happened. First, my adorable nephew craved my attention. He crawled on me and bugged me until I would let him on my lap then took my glass and did this:

 He said, "I Ania, I typing." Yes, he calls me Ania (aw-nya). I had talked to him about doing work so I could go far away so he pointed to the computer screen and says "I go here. I go far away" then happily pounded on my keyboard. After snapping the picture with my phone I grabbed him and squeezed him. I love that kid

Right after that I heard the song Stall Out by MUTEMATH. It's a song I think can be easy to listen to without paying attention to it  but I really heard the lyrics:

Racing on a fault line, Bracing for a landslide
Conscious of everything getting harder, As the race goes underwater

I keep stalling out
I just can't keep up
There's alarming doubt
Am I good enough?
But you keep coming around 
to convince me
It's still far from over

Hearing that made me feel so much better. "It's still far from over."

And now I realize that is true. I have my first interview to be an Assistant Language Teacher at a public school near Tokyo! I'm nervous, excited and encouraged. I know one interview may not equal a job but it's a start and now I just need to let God take control. Well, and, you know, be prepared.

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Online Classes Pretty Much Suck

I am really struggling with motivation for my TEFL course lately. It's not that I don't want to go to Japan ... it's this online format. Oh my, it is awful.

I will be the first to admit I have awful study habits - I have relied on my brain and ability to comprehend material in class for ... most of my life and gotten away without having to make time to study. I can b.s. my way through tests and have previously been able to do homework at the last minute without much trouble getting decent grades. But, alas, in an online course this strategy does not work well.

I have a solid 86% right now but this past week not wanting to go online and write out lesson plans or do the reading has killed me. I don't think my last assignment was very good and frankly the feedback from my online instructor has been minimal so it's difficult to know where I need to improve. I'm frustrated and, typically, when I get frustrated I become apathetic. How do I make that not happen?

The problem with apathy here is that if I am apathetic and get a bad grade in the course I cannot go to Japan ... and I really want to teach in Japan. I've been flying through the process of getting everything ready for the application process this past week but it will all be useless if I cannot find the motivation to complete the course.

Rock meet hard place.

I hope I can find a way to get more excited about my class. I'll admit it'd be easier if I actually saw or really talked to any of my classmates. Human interaction tends to make attending class more bearable but that cannot be done in an online course. I need to find more ways to stay motivated

Whatever will I do?

I have no idea. But I most definitely need to do something.

'Nuff said,
Crysania

Time Won't Let Me Go

I've been thinking "I need to blog" then forgetting. Time is moving faster than I'm ready for at the moment. I feel like the day drags on and on, then suddenly it's been a week.

I've started my TEFL classes and am doing well so far. I wasn't worried about the course work as much as paying on time and finding a way to get the student teaching done. Somehow it all has worked out. It's really amazing the way God puts things together. Just when I was getting to major "Oh crap, I'm going to have to change my work schedule and take less hours ... which means less money for leaving ... blah, blah" I got a call from the lady I used to tutor for saying her niece was in town from Korea for 2 months and if I could tutor. So I get the perfect opportunity to get me ESL Teaching done!

Lots has been going on in other venues as well. Last Sunday was Youth Sunday and our college group "took over" the church. We did everything from ushering and music to me delivering the message. I must admit ... it was scary. I can sing in front of people without issue but speaking to them is something else ... then I said "crap" on the pulpit. I didn't even realize it but apparently a few people got a kick out of it. I was surprised by the amount of positive feedback I got from people at the church ... whether they really felt that way or were just being nice is another story but I would hope they managed to get something out of it. I can assure you many of them never Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and Wonder Twins analogies in a single sermon before. At least I can say I accomplished that.

So things are busy ... though I'm still managing time to play The Sims 3. I've never liked Sims games but I'm having fun with this one. Weird how simply putting a game on a console opens it up for my desire to play but whatever. It's not my normal cup of tea but I'm enjoying it all the same.

Finally, I thought The Green Hornet was adorable. I loved that movie. It was a good action comedy with emphasis on the comedy. I think the only way not to enjoy was to take it too seriously. Oh I also really enjoyed all the Bruce Lee throwbacks (one. inch. punch)! Because I'm not old enough I never got to see The Green Hornet television show, really, but I'd seen lots of clips and stuff in Bruce Lee documentaries and such. I do love Bruce Lee.

So I will make more of an attempt to be on blog. I'd like to keep in the habit so I do it when I'm in Japan as well. I really can't wait to get there.

I know the song doesn't exactly go with my situation but I like it anyways.



'Nuff Said,
Crysania

The Last Post of 2010

I don't really have much to say right now. Honestly, I just wanted to finish with an even 40 posts for this year.

I guess 2010 has been ... kind of forgettable. It wasn't awful but it wasn't very good either. There were a lot of hard times and far more stress than I ever wanted but there was some good - I mean, I did finally see both Muse and MUTEMATH so that alone made the year worth having. I think it seems kind of fitting for the year that I end it with this bad cold I have.

I'm looking forward to 2011 though. I'm still terrified and excited about the possibility of teaching in Japan for a while and I'm hoping other things get better as well.

That's all really. I got a new camera for Christmas (which was definitely full of good and bad this year) and haven't uploaded the software to my computer yet so once I do that I'll post about it. But yeah ... adios 2010!!

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Wow

I did it. Less than an hour ago I put down my first payment for TEFL training to teach English abroad.

I still have time to choose either Japan or South Korea but I've always been leaning towards Japan and that is where I'd like to end up (Tokyo or Kyoto onegai shimasu!).

I'm nervous and I'm excited - both to the point that I can barely focus today. As I talked to Kristin on Friday we both came to conclusion about our decisions (she would like to go on a 3-week mission trip to Kenya), "Sometimes when something is on your heart for that long, maybe it's what God wants you to do," Kristin said.

I think she's right. I've wanted to do something like this for a long time - it may not be everything I hope it will be ... but then again it may be just what I need.

I start my online classes January 10th and then I guess I'll find out.

Right now though, it feels pretty good.

'Nuff said,
Crysania

Going For It

There's been much to discuss and I will catch up on that later but this blog post is going to be straight to the point.

I have decided to sign up for TEFL classes and go to Japan (South Korea is less of a possibility now as my dad would freak because of the recent bombing). I'm terrified but I'm also excited.

I've known for a while that something needed to change in my life. I've always wanted to travel and I've been considering being a teacher so this is a good opportunity to try out both. 

I don't want to have a that nagging "I should have" or "What if" hanging over my head. 

I'm not lying about being terrified - the longest I've been away from my family would be 2 weeks in Australia - so I hope I'll get support for my decision, but even if I don't at least I'll know I went for it.

In my last post I talked about how much I was thinking about it but there's a point where you have to stop thinking, considering or wishing and do something. I've been wanting to do something for too long and I think it really is time to just go for it.

I will have made my first payment by next Wednesday and will start classes either January 11 or 31 - which will have me done finished with training by April at the latest. 

I really, really hope this works out.

Here's a fun MUTEMATH song to end my post.

In the words of one of my favorite characters of all time, "Whatever happens, happens".

'Nuff Said,
Crysania