A Dose of Humility

Sorry about not posting. I really do want to keep this up but i've been sick lately and just haven't had the energy.

At the beginning of the day I was worried most about the fact that I had to open at my new job and didn't know where the light switch was, but by the end of the day (now) I'm comtemplating something so much bigger; much bigger than me.

I realized that so many moments led to the one that happened a few hours ago. I was sitting on a couch in a stranger's house discussing something that will change my family, really change us.

It hit me that we were really going to finally discuss the giant elephant living in my house for months and all I could think about was how I needed to be open and have the right mindset. So, as I often do, I went looking for the right song ... and the one that hit me truly surprised me.

"Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss
Lead me the the cross, where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees Lord I lay me down"

I really wasn't expecting to find so much comfort in these words but once I listened to the song (out of many I searched through) it stuck; I couldn't get the words out of my head.

And when I thought about it, that's what I needed. I didn't need a song about finding strength or being stronger ... I needed to be humbled and open because I don't know what's going to happen now. Things are going to be taking a sharp turn in my famiy and it's all happening very fast, but that's why I need to stop and look for God's will in this situation.

I don't know how this will all work out, and it scares me. It scares me that I've enabled the situation and, in turn, added to the hurt dealing with this is going to cause ... but that's where my faith keeps me going. That's why a song I hadn't heard in a few months stopped me dead in my tracks.

I'm not the best Christian. I'm hypocritical and have a bad mouth and can be bitter and I don't really like people in general and I talk myself out of sharing my faith ... I have lots of areas to improve ... but God still loves me ... He still loves my family and if I take a step back and allow myself to be led I think things will turn out eventually. Egos will have to be broken and the road will be hard, but I can do this because, no matter what, I'm not alone.

I know I rambled more than usual today but I just needed to get these thoughts out. As you can tell, I had a rough day and my family is going to have do something none of us really want to but we need to do. It's scary and I needed to get my thoughts out.

I promise not all my entries will be so "preachy" but I felt I really had to write a blog now (yeah, at 2 am.).

'Nuff Said,
Crysania

Dodger Memories ^_^

So yesterday we got a schedule and some promotional stuff for the Dodgers' next season (Ander Ethier bobblehead night will be May 18 btw, and I will totally be there! Especially since I couldn't go to Matt Kemp's last season) and I just started thinking about some of my favorite moments from last season. I went to 6 games and watched more games than I have in quite a while so there are quite a few good ones. I think I'll just put the ones I was actually there for ...

These are in no particular order btw.

#1. Being at 2 games featuring back to back home runs - both of which involved Manny Ramirez. The first game was on fleece blanket night - Orlando Hudson hit a bomb and the stadium went wild when Manny came up next, and he totally delivered. It was my first game of the regular season and they won! The second game was against Arizona. Manny hit a home run then Matt Kemp came up and did the same! It was funny because where we were sitting (lodge box behind home plate) we thought Kemp's might not go over but it did and the Dodgers had the lead ... unfortunately we lost that game because for some reason Torre decided to let James McDonald try to close ...

#2. Being there for Andre Ethier's mad catch against Arizona!
The night after they lost my family had free seats about 2 sections over from Mannywood so I had the BEST view of that amazing catch! Dodgers were up by one (Ethier had walked in the run to put them ahead) when my favorite middle reliever Ramon Troncosso came in. There was a runner on and the ball was launched, everyone thought it was going out but then I see Andre tracking it. My brother and I just stared and held our breath. "He's got a beat on it, he can get it ... please let him get it," was going through my mind. Then he caught it and the stadium went completely nuts! Everyone was chanting "MVP" well into the bottom of inning. It was awesome. Russell Martin also had a really amazing slide at home to tie up the game earlier too. It was a really aggressive, sexy slide. Good game, good times.

#3. Going to the Dodger-Angel game at Angel Stadium on Father's Day.
My friend Paul had bought tickets to the game but his girlfriend found the seats they originally wanted just after he bought them so he sold them to me! My brothers and I pitched in so we could take my dad and Pete's friend brought his dad. The atmosphere at Angel Stadium was amazing! There were about the same amount of Dodger fans as Angel fans (especially in our section) so the stadium was very loud. The atmosphere, Kershaw's pitching and the Dodgers winning made it perfect, especially for my dad. He had a great time and it was worth the money spent.

#4. Taking my niece to her first Dodger game.
We lost 8-0 to Houston but it was a lot of fun to see how excited she was and to get her a foam finger =). Plus Friday night fireworks was to the music of the Beatles.

That's all for now! I have a few more so I'll post them next time

'Nuff Said,
Crysania